Living will

This has been making the e-mail rounds:

Living Will Form

I,__________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

• Glass of wine


• Margarita


• Martini


• Steak and baked potato


• Chicken fried steak and cream gravy


• Mexican food


• Hamburger and fries


• Pizza


• The remote control


• Bowl of ice cream


• Double Espresso


• Chocolate


• Sex

It should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

______________________________________